The last blog was about compassion and knowing that we all have choices. We have options that will move us towards illness; sometimes, these are the most familiar choices for us. Then there are the other choices. These choices usually are more challenging. They can bring up resistance and sensations in our body-mind-spirit unfamiliar to us. I encourage you to think about the following: You will get the same results if you are doing the same thing repeatedly. Suppose you have depressive symptoms and there are no changes in your diet. If you are unwilling to move your body daily and don’t want to dive deeper into a spiritual practice, nothing will change, and the depressive symptoms will continue to increase. If you’re going to change your life, it’s an investment and requires you to do things differently. In the past, you made choices that potentially moved you towards mental illness, disease, fatigue, etc. Remember, you are making daily choices in your life. Now you also have the option to move towards wellness. This will require you to do something different, get you out of your comfort zone, and maybe explore unfamiliar, different, and scary things. So, ask yourself what you want in life?
This blog is about “T” for therapy. There are many options you have for treatment. There are several choices, and often patients don’t ask enough questions at the onset of this process. If you are ready to venture into the therapeutic space, you want to connect with someone trained and, more importantly, someone you feel comfortable with early in the relationship. In my ideal world, insurance companies would have more flexibility in providing options. Most insurance companies will give you a list of names; they may call a few providers or have you call independently. Then you are connected with a licensed professional, and the relationship begins. Still, there is little known about their area of expertise and experience working with individuals with various cultures, genders, language dialects, and more. There are those in my profession who say that this is not important. I agree, and I’m afraid I must disagree.
Suppose the professional has done their work. Suppose they have worked on their issues, traumas, anxieties, and stuff, then yes. In that case, it is not as important because they can provide you the attention, affection, and affirmation needed as appropriate. However, there is no requirement by professionals in my profession to seek out their mental health support, which falls into the treatment with the client. I refer to this as countertransference, in which the therapist’s stuff comes up in the treatment room, and they are not even aware it is going on so that it can be helpful information for the benefit of the patient. I often am told by patients that their prior attempts in working with a therapist felt like they were providing therapy to their therapist and not the other way around.
What is my treatment approach with my patients? I will talk in general terms because things grow as the relationship between you and I grow. I am trained in many methods but wanted to speak more specifically to play therapy. When you think about play therapy, one assumes this is for children. Play therapy is for children. Play is a therapeutic process for kids as it uses their natural communication methods. It is nonverbal and requires me to make assessments, interventions, and integration that fit more naturally for kids.
However, let’s not assume that play is not for adults. I have found that many adults struggle to play in general. They were never given these developmental opportunities when they were kids. Adults forget to play or find it an inconvenience. Their lives are so busy with distractions that being playful is not a priority. Play therapy is helpful for adults as it helps me understand the dynamics of early childhood traumas, developmental challenges, barriers to social relationships, and potential limitations adults may have during their time in treatment. There is something beautiful about play, and therefore you see children and the elderly engaging in playful activities. For adults, there is an additional benefit. I have found that adults can have the insight and are open to therapeutic techniques such as confrontation. Play therapy for adults helps them integrate the childhood stuff with the adult stuff. They can find meaning and make sense of struggles in their life. Adults are creative in a way that provides them meaning in their lives and gives them a new sense of love, compassion, and forgiveness for themselves.
Some of my work with children, teens, and adults involves play therapy. I am psychodynamically trained, and play therapy helps me bring what is occurring in the subconscious mind into the conscious mind. It helps me bring about awareness and understanding in a way that doesn’t happen with EMDR or CBT.
Let me provide an example of a task; if appropriate, I may engage with a patient. You can also consider doing this to see what comes up for you. Keep in mind that doing something like this on your own will provide you with some understanding, but the therapy process offers a more profound, meaningful change process.
I like to create stories. Everyone has a story, even if you believe your story is too painful to put on paper. Suppose your story is boring or filled with lots of pain, disappointments, and rejections. This is all in your mind. You may also feel your story is exciting but unsure where to start, how to begin, or what to say. Play therapy can help. There are many ways to tell a story. Remember, I said earlier you have choices. You may choose words to express your story if you are a writer. You may select a painting, drawing, or picture to tell your story if you are an artist. If you are good at math, numbers and patterns may be your thing in expressing your story. If you are an athlete, you may tell your story through your body. If you are a thinker, reader, or intellectual, you may express your story through your mind. If you are a healer, empath, or philosopher, you can tell your story through spirituality, meditation, or religion. Your story is not about selling a book, hoping others will buy it and give you worth. Your story is about you and finding a way to express it that provides you meaning.
I have worked with many people on their journey out of the uncomfortable feelings and sensations that arise in the mind, the body, and the spirit. I have worked on writing down stories told to me. I have worked with creating songs, dances, and music as one expresses their story. I have worked with developing movie scripts, plays, and even understanding mathematics and physics to help one understand and provide meaning to their life.
Know you are not limited. The only limitation you have is in your mind. So, I encourage you to think about your story now. I encourage you to consider what story you can express that provides meaning to you. Now, get to work. Don’t just keep these ideas in your head but start the work needed to inspire, motivate, and put your story together. Make creating your story fun, and be playful and intentional about the process. Dedicate time each day to allowing your story to manifest. Be consistent, and don’t let distractions with life get you off track.
If you need some support in this area, seek a trained professional who can assist. This means finding a good therapeutic match for you. This may be a clinician, counselor, coach, spiritual advisor, philosopher, teacher, and whatever; start the process because your story is needed to help you grow and move towards mental wellness.
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